By Peter Russo
So apparently, I didn’t lie, because here I am writing again.
I want to make a clear distinction between lying and failing to meet intentions or unwarranted expectations. If one tells themselves before going to sleep at night, “I am going to clean the house tomorrow.” That is a genuine statement of intent. The next day comes and from the very get go there are circumstances that arise that preclude you from getting your intention done. This does not mean you lied to yourself. It just means you failed to meet your intentions. Now if the conversation with self before going to bed is, “I hope I have the time to clean the house tomorrow. But you must clean the house tomorrow. Well maybe I won’t feel like it or maybe there won’t be enough time to clean the house. Maybe I could put off one more day. I am going to try to clean the house tomorrow.” This is you lying to yourself.
Now on the matter of unwarranted expectations versus a lie let’s use the same sort of scenario. If one tells their partner before going to sleep at night, “I am going to clean the house tomorrow.” Again, a genuine statement of intent, but this time, because it was said to another, aloud, expectations are now in play. The partner is going to expect the house to be cleaner the next day than it was the day before. Not an unwarranted expectation. If the person saying, “I am going to ...,” fails to, the partner will undoubtedly feel lied to. However, if the partner is aware of the extenuating circumstances that precluded the house from being cleaned then there is no lie. If the person says aloud to their partner, “I am going to try to clean tomorrow,” and the partner expects the house to be cleaned, that is an unwarranted expectation. Which in a lot of cases, feels like a lie. To have unwarranted expectations is to set yourself up for disappointment and feelings of being lied to constantly. Also, to repeatedly set expectations and have intentions, that you know, you will never meet, makes you a liar.
Lies are a mainstay in our world. Not only do we lie to ourselves, in our interpersonal relationships, daily, but we also lie on a grand scale. Mankind’s history is fraught with lies. So many lies, repeated so many times, that the lie is treated as fact. Our lives, the world we perceive, and the society we live in, has a foundation riddled with lies. If you are truly an honest person and have never told a lie, you are a rarity. If you shed light on lies or speak of lies that have been told on a grand scale, you are thought of as “conspiracy theorist” or a “nut job”. Speakers of facts and honest recollections of the past are often shunned, when the lies are believed by the masses.